Title: First Times Are The Worst
Over a signature cocktail “Smoky Arnold Palmer” of vodka, smoked English breakfast tea and lemon juice, Tory recaps the lessons learned throwing a giant 2-year-old birthday party for kids screaming, crying, and vomiting. The best gift for a kids’ party is a case of wine for the parents and NO gifts where assembly is required, please.
Opinions are shared about dog-friendly wineries and Tory wonders who is actually allergic at the preschool. Love or hate putting IKEA furniture together and working for TaskRabbit.
Philip confuses the “sit and spin” toy with a wild night out in the Castro. The world wants to know if President Trump had a stroke after listening to his speech on relocating the embassy in Jerusalem and Philip briefly explains why this move is a serious act that’s going to piss off the Muslim community
It’s the 9-year anniversary of Philip and Jonathan’s relationship with a recap of their first date and magical wedding day with tips on how to have an amazing wedding on a small budget.
- The ins and outs of ordering a martini
- Denver wedding cake case
- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle wedding announcement
- Jared Kushner is bad for the Jews
- Urinary tract infection (UTI) scares
- Embarrassing urologist visits
- Potty training
- How much is too much to spend on a pet’s health?
- Purell: the downfall of society
- Foreskin trees
- The “Ask me anything game”
- There’s a lot of hate in the world today
Title: Clam Slam With Martha and Yoko
Over a signature cocktail we’re calling “The Hot Tickle” made up of scotch whiskey, honey, fresh Meyer lemon juice and hot water (yeah it’s essentially a hot tottie), Tory shares her take on whiskey while deflecting from the YouTube downward spiral Philip was stuck in till 3:00 AM after searching “Tory Ross.” [DO IT! WE DARE YOU.]
The two give a recap of the Golden Globes and swap stories of when they each smoked pot with celebrities like Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard and Sean Lennon.
Philip hosts Yoko Ono at a gay club in West Hollywood, and Tory is shamed by Martha Stewart for her poor waitressing skills.
We hear how Philip got caught masturbating in his college dorm room, and Tory tells us about her latest emergency room visit with the kiddos.
TEASER!!!!! Next week we’ll be joined by our very first guest, Broadway legend Kathy Fitzgerald, and the crew will discuss whether or not there’s such a thing as “a gay sound?”
- Golden Globes and #TIMESUP planning logistics
- Fake news
- Survey results of what people love/hate about city living
- Allison Janney and the Academy Award nominations
- Update on #METOO
- Dr. Larry Nassar’s conviction
- Dogs that age gracefully
- Not remembering the names of contractors makes you racist
- Ear infections and tubes
- Kids are traumatized by Santa Claus
- Dosing children's’ medication
- The ferocity of Yoko Ono
- Sweaty bras
- Being featured in the Piedmont Post
- Boufs not bangs
- Gingham patterns
- Vitamin gummies
- The right and wrong way to walk in a city
- Betsy “the Devil” DeVos
- Hot garbage in NYC
*quick not to our listeners. The beeping sound you hear in the background of this episode is not your own smoke detector going off...so keep calm and keep listening.
Title: “Hey Cat Lady! Stop touching my boob!”
Don't forget about the $20 credit on your Postmates alcohol or beverage deliveries with our coupon code: BSDRINKS.
Over white wine, spritzers, coffee and heart-shaped Hostess Ding Dongs, the talented Kathy Fitzgerald of Broadway, tells us how she went from six years of Madame Morrible in Wicked to becoming the highly sexualized Cat Lady of Long Beach.
Through some appropriate—and totally welcome—flirting, Kathy explains how she’s 37% German Jewish and has the right to rub a “Jew-stick” (mezuzah) before taking the stage if she wants. On the brink of tears, she gets emotional talking about the whirlwind of being in a hit Broadway show (The Producers with Nathan Lane) during 9/11.
A rare glimpse behind the Broadway curtain and the inner workings of two character actress besties, listeners come to understand Kathy's fear of closeted ghosts and disgusting estate sales.
The gab-fest ends with a quick shout out to In the Room with Steven & Dana (our east coast doppelganger podcast), Philip realizing he still knows nothing about menstruation, and Tory peeing her pants from laughing so hard.
- Allison Janney
- Cat boxes
- 9 to 5
- Estate sales
- Mel Brooks
- California living
- Cat boxes
- Gay sound
- Boob touching
- Diva cups
- Bloody auditions
- Physical comedy
Title: V-Days and B-Days
Tory and Philip can’t get over how delicious Hangar 1’s new rose vodka is and enjoy it straight or mixed with club soda, a squeeze of fresh meyer lemon, and brown sugar simple syrup. This Valentine’s Day episode starts with a gift exchange and a quick celebration of Tory’s birthday, Mardi Gras, and King Cakes.
Philip shares his morning experience living a scene from the movie “Three Men and A Baby,” while talking about a baby guest who sounds like a crazy goat.
Tory complains about having a low passenger score on Uber before the two briefly discuss the winter olympics, Johnny Weir’s Hunger Games-fashion, Tara Lapinsky’s bad plastic surgery, and the amazing tushies so many male athletes are sporting.
In honor of the day of love, Tory shares the details of her first date and how her West Hollywood gays saved the day, leading to a fabulous destination wedding in Scotland.
- Loch Ness monster
- Kitty cat salt and pepper shakers
- Screaming goats
- Three men and a baby
- Baby goat yoga
- Car seats
- West Elm
- Rude NY cabbies
- Lyft and Uber rideshares
- Adam Rippon
- LA Dreams
- Mazda Miata
- Whipped cream bikinis
- Gay bear t-shirts
- Good bagels
- Neal’s Yard Remedies
- The Dark Crystal
- Vacation for the eyes “Real Simple Magazine”
- The Body Shop
Title: Dear Dearest Diary
On a cold rainy morning in Piedmont, CA, Tory and Philip whip up a batch of bourbon breakfast smoothies (blend Bulleit Bourbon, espresso coffee, a Häagen-Daz almond chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bar and a banana). In Tory’s “showbiz room” the two shoot darts at their diaries and we get some insight into Philip pre-Bar-Mitzvah, and Tory as a melodramatic teen.
The two also ask for HELP in spreading the word of their Hunger Awareness Campaign. With just a few keystrokes, you, your friends, the guy who makes your Americano with water cap, your work wife, and secret lover from down the hall; can enter to win awesome prizes (cases of wine, gift baskets, beauty products, an expensive Japanese chef's knife, deli food catering, cookbooks, etc) and educate our communities about America's growing hunger epidemic at the same time.
- Diary reading
- Living with nuns
- Dying single
- Neal's Yard Remedies
- Funny things kids say
- Boozy smoothies
- Bad allergies
- Piano lessons
- The Body Shop
- Stretch marks
- The hunger epidemic